In the family there are different relationships where we
form bonds, learn to love, learn to bear with another, learn to forgive, and
learn many things about our relationship with God as His children. God shows us His love for us in many
ways. He is the author of relationships
and family. He gave us family for a
purpose. We have a husband and
wife. This relationship is said to be
symbolic of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:24-32). We have children and
experience the tremendous bond of love between a parent and child, which is how
God refers to us, as His children (1 John 3:1).
As children we learned the love of our mothers and Fathers and we see
the perfect love of our Heavenly Father. We also have sisters and brothers in a
family and in God's family we have sisters and brothers, not through blood, but
through His Spirit given to us, causing a new birth into His family. It is not the earthly family that teaches us
so much of His love, because not all earthly family relationships are
good. Some are corrupted so much by sin
that they become bitter relationships.
No, it is God's love that teaches us what a true family is and what love
is, and His examples of the type of relationship He created through the family
shows us the immense love He has for us in those different types. As we live in our families in step with the
Spirit, we demonstrate His love to our family and others. Following, is an older article I wrote on
relationships in the body of Christ. We
are learning to be a "family" in Christ together, and though flawed,
we will be continually learning this throughout our sojourn here below. These
are things we need to learn as believers in our earthly families as well as in
our family in Christ.
I John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to
love one another.
1 John 4:20-21 If anyone says, "I love God," and
hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not
love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. (21)
And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love
his brother.
Relationships
In Christ
It
would be helpful today to read the entire chapter of Col. 3 for the background
of what I would like to share today.
Colossians 3:1-4 If then you have been raised with Christ,
seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of
God. (2)
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on
earth. (3) For you have died, and your life is hidden
with Christ in God. (4) When Christ who is your life appears, then
you also will appear with him in glory.
Colossians 3:10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge
after the image of him that created him:
Putting
on the "new man"... that which is the new image of Christ in us...
that which Christ has made us and which is "hidden in Him", v. 3, to
be revealed when we are with Him. Put
that on now and put off all those things that cause aggravation in
relationships... those fleshly things that bother us or clash in our
personalities with one another, knowing that in our life in Heaven, those
things will disappear as that image of Christ and love is pure and perfect
between us all together in Christ and from us to Him. Just as His love is perfect then our love for
one another will be perfect without any fleshly differences. Personality clashes and flesh rubbing against
flesh will then be gone. So as they
happen now, be "forbearing" v. 13, and put on what you see in Christ,
v. 12, knowing that that is your portion.
Ephesians 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after
God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
As
we increase in the knowledge of God, and the image of His Son within us, all
the more we are able to "put on" that image in our daily walk. We
learn to walk in that which Christ has already made for us... that image which
is hidden now in Him. We have been made
a "new creation in Christ Jesus,"
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is
a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Though
we are a "new creature", and only that "in Christ," we are
yet learning to know Him and put that image on outwardly that He has put in us
inwardly. We are yet growing in
that. But as we are continually renewed
in the knowledge of that image, we are more and more being outwardly conformed
to it. We don't learn to put on that
image by looking inward and seeing if
we find it there. No, it is "hidden
in Christ", and we must look
heavenward for it. We must fix our eyes on things above, His
redemption, His life, His finished work, and His attributes, learning of
Him. The more we see Christ, the more
His image is being formed in us. The
more our affections are on Him and what He is preparing for us, the more we
live in that. If our affections are on
things here below and what they can do for us in our temporal lives, we live
according to that, and guard those things.
1 John 3:2-3 Beloved, we are God's children now, and what
we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be
like him, because we shall see him as he is.
(3) And everyone who thus hopes
in him purifies himself as he is pure.
This
can only be by faith in that which Christ alone has done. His finished work must be believed in and
apprehended for oneself, and by faith, as we learn more of that which He has
done for us, in us, and saved us for, the more we are by faith enabled by the
grace He alone gives, to walk in that new creation He has made us. Again, it is by faith. It is His
work. We submit to and walk in that
work. Unless we understand His
work, and our position given "in Christ", we will not be able to
"put on Christ". All the
putting on is under condition of that which was first stated in v. 1, being
risen with Christ. We must see ourselves as now risen with Him positionaly,
because God, Who is outside of time, sees all things as finished in Christ,
Ephesians 2:5-6 even when we were dead in our trespasses,
made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— (6) and raised us up with him and seated us with
him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus
He sees us there in the Heavenlies with Christ
already. The rest of His instructions in
this chapter are all based on this. And
even as we put off our own fleshly things, and put on Christ in His loving
others, we also need to see them as that new creation in Christ, also loved by
Him, therefore forbearing them as Christ us in these bodies of death! We need to be merciful and gracious with our
differences and irritations. They may
not sin against us, but they may just rub us the wrong way in personality or
likes or dislikes or scruples, etc.
Should we avoid others in the body of Christ because of these things and
cling to those who are more like us?
No... we need to "put off" our own preferences and love as we
are loved, putting on Christ in His love, not thinking of ourselves or our
preferences for one another, but of His love for that one. When we see each other in His love, we see
each other very differently. Putting on
His love, is putting on the "bond of perfectness."
This
is something I've been becoming more and more convicted of in my own life. Most
of our friendships are formed because of mutual interests or needs. We tend to spend more time with the person
who validates us in some way, and agrees with us. We tend to avoid people who stretch us, or
make us feel uncomfortable in any way.
What if God sees something you don't see? What if he sees Himself in you both and is
wanting to use each of you, in a relationship, to help each other to see the
flesh for what it is, put it off, and embrace His image in each other. Sometimes it takes some work to do that. I have to ask myself, am I seeking
relationships for myself, or am I allowing God to bring whatever relationships
in my life He chooses for His purposes and not mine. Sometimes we "bear with" one
another, as the Lord does us, and continue walking in that love, putting off
ourselves, putting on Christ. Sometimes
we are hurt by friends who don't reciprocate our feelings. We can't make people like us. We can't make people agree with us. But we can love them regardless.
Think
of it. In Heaven there will be no favoritism among ourselves, and no jealousy,
no slighting one another in favor of someone else's friendship, but there will
be the bond of perfectness in our love for one another just as we are loved by
Him. All of that will be done away
with. All those things that we tend to
do without realizing it because of our own flesh and it's comfort, preferences,
likes and dislikes. We hurt one another
without meaning to or realizing it because we prefer one over another in the
body of Christ. We form clicks. We leave
someone out because we may not feel we have as much in common with that one or
maybe they have a personality that is harder for us to warm up to. We can't help that in the natural we are
drawn to some more than others. All
those things are done away with in Christ as we put on the "bond of
perfectness" in His love. They look
past all and love for His purposes and not our own. They bear with little personality irritations
and love the brethren as we are all in Christ.
We are all His and He has stamped His image in each of us. The freer we are of the love of self, the freer
we are to love the unlovely, not looking to get something out of it.
Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts,
to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
If
the "peace of God" is in our hearts... that peace that comes from
knowing He is in our hearts and has justified us and put us "in Christ,"
removing all doubt of our eternal life in Him, then we are also able to be
ruled by that peace with each other in the body of Christ, as a
"family," not quarrelling with one another but understanding
ourselves as all of His body, united under His headship. His peace acts as our "umpire" in
all our relationships here. We do not
think of ourselves as individuals with our own interests, but as one body, all
filled with His Spirit growing together under Him, being builded together as a
dwelling place for Him. Can He have any
other dwelling place than perfect love?
Philippians 2:1-8 So if there is any encouragement in Christ,
any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and
sympathy, (2) complete my joy by being of the same mind,
having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. (3) Do
nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more
significant than yourselves. (4) Let each of you look not only to his own
interests, but also to the interests of others.
(5) Have this mind among
yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
(6) who, though he was in the
form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, (7)
but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the
likeness of men. (8) And being found in human form, he humbled
himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
There
are so many things within ourselves that can separate us. There are so many differences of
personalities, likes, dislikes, opinions, ways of doing every day things,
etc. We even let them cause hurt in the
body of Christ and in some cases even divisions. We hold onto grudges and hurts and side with
one over another on issues that do not relate to eternity. It happens in families, it happens in
friendships, it happens in churches. We
are quick to speak up our opinion to put down someone else's instead of taking
an interest in them and listening. We
are quick to have the last word to make sure we are validated, disregarding the
other. Do we always have to make sure we
are heard? Have we really listened with
interest in what the other is saying?
But
we must "let this mind be in us that was in Christ". If He, the Son of God, could humble Himself
taking on the form of flesh, taking the form of a servant, can we humble
ourselves enough to serve one another?
Can we allow God to use relationships He brings in our lives to serve
Him rather than serving us? We have the
mistaken idea sometimes that God will only bring people into our lives that
will be a strength and encouragement to us so we don't allow others in. Sometimes we are called to be a strength and
encouragement to others, and sometimes we're just called to love and bear with
someone who is not so lovable, simply because they are His. He loves them and we are to love them no
less. He sees their need for friendship
and how hard it is in the natural for them to have that and He is their friend. He wants to work in each of your lives in
ways neither of you see.
I
can't help but think of how drained the Lord must have gotten from the people
around him, being God in the flesh, and knowing all He knew, yet putting up
with sinful men with all their temperaments and self-serving attitudes. Some people drain you. If you ever have a
hard time putting up with someone, just think of how much the Lord has put up
with you! Should you do less toward your
brother?
Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and
beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, (13)
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another,
forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must
forgive. (14) And above all these put on love, which binds
everything together in perfect harmony.
Above
all... love, which is the bond of perfectness.
This is what we are being perfected in, and ultimately will be...
perfect in love.
Abba,
Father, enable us now and each day, more and more, as we gaze on things above
to put on Christ in all His love.
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